Wednesday, December 21, 2016

another exercise

by genghis gilgamesh

illustrations by eddie el greco

“today, class,” aggripina announced. “we have another of my favorite little exercises. one that is not quite as simple as you might at first think.

the exercise is this - write a story without any adjectives or adverbs. any at all.

many words you might not think of as adjectives actually are.

for example, ‘hungry’ is an adjective. as are ‘happy’ or ‘sad’ or ‘white’ or ‘black’.

it is not enough to avoid writing ‘the hungry lady walked down the dark street’. if you write ‘the lady was hungry’, or ‘the street was dark’, ‘hungry’ and ‘dark’ are adjectives.

also, ‘his’ and ‘her’ and ‘their’ are adjectives.”


the rent

by william howard taft

when bronc got out of jail, his pals clyde and dave took him to a bar and bought him drinks.

when bronc got back to the apartment, the landlord was waiting for him.

“got the rent?’ the landlord asked.

“i will have it tomorrow,” bronc said.

“i hope so,” the landlord replied.

when bronc got up in the morning, he remembered he had to get money to pay the rent.

he went to see herbie.

“got any jobs for me?” bronc asked herbie.

“not today, “ herbie told him. “you should have taken the job i had yesterday.”

“that was yesterday,” said bronc. “i need money today, to pay the rent.” after a pause, he continued. “do you think you will have something by the end of the day?”

“no,” said herbie. “i have a couple of jobs, but i promised them to eddie and frank.”

bronc nodded and left.

he decided to get money by mugging people on the street.

bronc walked down seventh street, a street filled with bars and bodegas.

he saw a woman walking by and he grabbed her and dragged her into an alley.

he strangled her and took the purse she had.

when he got back to the street, he discovered that the purse did not have money to pay the rent in it.

he could not pay the rent with what he had, but he could buy a burger and a coke so he bought those.

he ate the burger and drank the coke.

he went back out onto the street.

he mugged a man and a woman. he killed the man but the woman managed to run.

what he obtained did not add up to the money to pay the rent.

when he was mugging a person on main street a policeman saw him.

the policeman shouted at bronc to stop mugging the person.

“hands where i can see them!” the policeman shouted.

bronc ran down an alley.

the policeman shot and killed him.

bronc never ate or drank or slept or dreamed after that.

the rent was not paid.

the end

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