Monday, May 7, 2018

large black decaf


by nick nelson




a man, who might or might not have been a bible salesman, walked into a burger king in knoxville tennessee

or it might have been in medford oregon

he had been disappointed in life

which he had begun with such promise

the young woman behind the counter

had also been disappointed in life

though perhaps starting it with lower expectations than the man

can i help you, the young woman asked the man

yes, the man wanted to say

you can help me find my way

you can smile at me

and give me a reason to get through another day

and tell me that life has some purpose

you can get on a bus with me and we can go far far away where no one has ever gone before

you can tell me a joke

or tell me your secret dreams

but what he said was

just plout mirgtrew biokly defumploy

and she replied,

excuse me. sir, i didn’t understand a word you said

and he said

i will survive, as noah survived the flood, as jonah survived the whale, as joshua survived the battle of jericho

and she said, again,

excuse me?

and he said,

a large black decaf, please

when the young woman returned with his decaf, he smiled and said

i always get it right the third time

and he thought she smiled back but he could not be sure

*

do you think the man was a bible salesman?

do you think the young woman should have smiled at the man, because that is good business practice?

or, do you think she should not have smiled at him because he was an overbearing sexist pig attempting to exercise his patriarchal right to comfort from a female wage slave ?

do you think it should be legal to sell bibles?

do you think it should be legal to sell black coffee?



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