percival and his friends

by corinne delmonico

percival had lots of friends. he never wondered much if they really liked him, or why they liked him. although he sometimes thought about it a little bit, and had his suspicions. his friends liked him because he was a pleasant fellow. he never argued about anything. he was not bad looking. he knew how to act in public, and never embarrassed himself or anyone else. he dressed well, nothing flashy or ostentatious. he was not particularly witty, and did not have a great sense of humor, but he would laugh at other people’s jokes and witticisms without being obviously “”polite”. he was not very knowledgeable on any subject, which was one reason why he never got into arguments. he had no obsessions, no subject he bored people with. he had lots of money, and was always open to his friends’ suggestions as to how to spend it, on himself and on them. one day percival lost all his money. he did not how it happened, but he had never understood money. the only thing he had ever known about it was that he had a lot of it. sometimes he had read in the papers or seen stories online about “crashes” on wall street , but somehow they had never affected him. now, with no stories in the media about any “crashes” and without any warning, his financial advisor and the manager of his trust both told him he was bankrupt. “what about the money in my checking account?” he asked the financial advisor. the advisor put the tips of her fingers together. “hmm. i don’t know if anybody will bother to go after it, but to be on the safe side, maybe you better take the money out and hide it under your bed. even a safe deposit box would not be completely safe.” percival wondered if his friends would still like him, he was quickly reassured. “that’s all right, percival,” his best friend, nellie, told him. “we had a nice run off of you. now, we will show you how to get a run off of other people. like jeff and bobbi. and harold. harold has more money than god. we have to help him spend it.” “we will teach you to be a parasite,” his second best friend willie added. “it is not that difficult.” so percival began sponging on some of his friends, the way some of the other friends had sponged on him. he did not starve, or freeze to death. but after a while he got bored. his friends started to bore him, and he felt he was boring them. he decided to cut his ties with them, and get out into the real world, which he had always been a little curious about. he got a job behind the counter at mopey dick’s, a startup fast food company. he worked both afternoon and night shifts. he rented a lonely little room with an old fashioned hissing radiator, and bought a second hand 18 inch television, which he went home and watched when he was not working. he especially liked old star trek episodes. he began to watch all the episodes of all the different seasons.